Online Dating Dictionary: 2018’s Weirdest Trends

It’s 2020.

If they haven’t replied to your last message from two days ago, but they’ve watched your story, does it mean that they’re no longer interested? As quickly as they appear in your life, they’ve disappeared even faster.

We’ve got the shivers just thinking about it.

Not only is ghosting now a thing, but we’ve also seen the terms “breadcrumbing” and “benching” floating around, and believe us, they aren’t pretty.

Ladies (and gents!), it’s time to become familiar with our online dating dictionary before it’s too late. He may be cute, but there’s a reason these terms exist and that’s because HORRIFIC dating behaviours like this actually exist. These people are among us all.

Just remember, if Carrie found true love after the infamous Post-it break up between her and Berger in Sex and The City, then there’s hope for us all. 

Ghosting

The one we all fear. Terrifying, and there’s no preparing for it because ghosting happens unexpectedly, when someone suddenly cuts you off without any form of communication. One week you’re laughing over cocktails and the last piece of sushi, then BOOM, they’re gone. We reckon the ghoster simply can’t be bothered to break up with you, so decides the sensible thing to do is go totally MIA. Being left on read deprives you of the answers and the closure that you deserve, and no one deserves that! A minute of silence to pay our respects to the almost-relationships, that never quite were. RIP.

Haunting

Infuriating, confusing, yet somehow a little bit exciting… enter haunting. Once you’ve accepted that you’ve been ghosted, they’ll suddenly start watching your stories, liking your photos (no comments, of course). These slippery snakes don’t actually want to give you the chance to converse with them, no, they just want you to think about them. Do they think I look hot? Maybe they’re still interested? Our advice? Delete and block. It’ll save you a lot of pointless conversations in your messenger group with the girls!

Breadcrumbing

Here’s where it gets a little more confusing. Similar to the idea of haunting, comes the breadcrumbing, and the only place you should enjoy your breadcrumbs is in your meal, that’s for sure. This involves leading someone on, with literally NO intention to ever follow up with the plans you’ve made. A cheeky snapchat here, maybe a late-night message asking what you’re up to. What’s the point we hear you scream!? Who knows! Just put the damn phone down ladies. 

Benching  

Oh man. We’re sure you can guess what this one means. Just like the soccer player that isn’t quite good enough to start on the pitch… You catch our drift. You’re hanging out alone together, you’re making plans and they’re even following through. Yet… you’ve never met any of their friends, and you definitely haven’t had ‘the talk’. Benching is when you’re kept on sidelines, just in case someone better comes along. We knew we didn’t like sports. 

We’re not saying don’t date. Lord knows, a nice meal and an espresso martini can really perk up your week. Our advice? If you’re feeling and looking good, you won’t shed a tear over the ghoster that wasted your Thursday night. With a bright white smile (GoGo style), a killer lipstick and our online dating dictionary, you can’t go wrong. We believe in you– now go out and find the true love that you deserve!